Moving over
All future podcasts will be posted at The Arizona Growler.
Advertisement: Social Engineering!
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Yeah, unfortunately, I can't support the cost of doing this website without a little advertising, so here it goes. Hope it doesn't destroy my blogging career.
Okay, it's fake just like everything else on this website. In addition, I'd like to introduce "Ratman", who in this episode plays his exact opposite.
Garrett -- conservative student, narration
"Ratman" -- liberal student
Music is "Stop Yield Go Merge" from Derek K. Miller's Penmachine.
Note: The original post had a volume problem on it. The problem has been addressed and a new file is being posted.
On hiatus
The Yuma Episode
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The No Child Left Behind Act's nutritional guidelines for K-12 public schools take effect on July 1st in an attempt to combat child obesity. Lawmakers such as Ted Kennedy, Jerrold Nadler, Dennis Hastert, and Jim Kolbe felt that state legislatures, individual school districts, and parents "don't have enough experience with obesity" to deal with the crisis.
Meanwhile, the law also bans tortillas from being served for fear that food fights might offend Hispanics.
An Allstate Insurance study reports that Tucson is a relatively safe city for driving. Allstate released the report to the media from its Yuma office yesterday because of its cool weather.
In other Yuma news, a local theater will be hosting the premiere of the film "Surf School." "We figured this was the perfect place", one producer noted, "Yuma’s got so much sand, it's pretty much one big beach." The premiere goes in parallel with multiple baseless claims that the region is "paradise", including but not limited to Paradise Pools, Paradise Cove, Paradise Casino, and a certain characterization found in the Chicago Tribune: "smuggler’s paradise."
Today's theme song is "In the Hollow" by Derek K. Miller.
News #008: May Day bound to cause crisis
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Experts predict that standardized test scores and wages may see a temporary increase, and Mexican president Vincente Fox is predicting a temporary one-day economic crisis for Mexico. “How are we supposed to enforce our border policy like this?” Fox complained, “Without any money from the United States, we won’t have enough taxes to beat, rob, or kill our Guatemalan illegals!”
In other news, Sen. John McCain is quoted as having told radio host Don Imus that he’d rather have a clean government than “First Amendment rights.” ASUA officials are reportedly speaking out in response, accusing Sen. McCain of “stealing our idea.”
And finally, the Arizona Board of Regents has given its stamp of approval to the University of Arizona to install more wireless Internet access in high-traffic areas of campus. Officials noted, “Finally, students will have something more to do than sudoku, crossword puzzles, and Hex Talk during lectures. Now, they can use AOL Instant Messenger, MySpace, and Facebook.” Professors are elated that the proposal will probably reduce verbal talking in class. One professor noted “When this is all done, we’ll have reached a new low.”
Today's theme song is Fisher: Chicago as recorded by Eric Prancer conducted by Fred Lewis and performed by the Bensenville/Wood Dale Concert Band. Per their (ambiguous) request of noncommercial use, this episode falls under the Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 license available at Creative Commons.
Audio comment hotline is up
I now have an audio comment hotline up for anybody who wishes to leave us a soundbyte via telephone. 1-206-339-7228. Standard long-distance rates apply. The voicemail goes straight to my EMAIL account, not my telephone, so please don't use this as a method of instantaneous contact.
I reserve the right to publish any soundbyte coming from this number. If you have something anonymous to say, shoot me an email instead.
Objurgate Opine with O'Hara
Now that I have a Skype account, I now have the ability to record audio interviews over the Internet. Thus, if you'd like to be interviewed for The Arizona Podcat, please shoot me an email and we'll schedule a time. Please note that because finals are coming up, my availability may be extremely limited. Moreover, all interviews would become my property and licensed under the same Creative Commons license as both the Factor and the Podcat.
Moreover, if you are a semi-outsider (or perhaps otherwise) and would like to help out with the interviewing, that works, too. The more people we have, the more interesting it becomes.
News #007: UA fires med school resident (and more...)
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Officials have fired a University of Arizona medical school resident of Chinese nationality, citing his inability to speak Engrish…er…English. In a statement to the Tucson Citizen, the man said…uh…you know what, I’m not going there.
Meanwhile, a man in Yuma has been ordered to spend 90 days in jail and repay more than $300,000, in monthly $300 installments, after having stolen it from collection plates at a local Roman Catholic church. Meanwhile, Arizona Lottery officials have taken notice and created the “one million-dollar lotto”, whose winner gets one dollar every year for a million years. One official noted, “Since lottery players are so mathematically inept, I don’t know how we didn’t think of this in the first place!”
And finally, the UA Classics department alongside Arizona Athletics is investigating claims that a UA basketball player and others received preferential treatment with independent study courses. The player noted “I don’t know why they’re complaining. My thesis is about how the Greeks invented basketball, curling, and snowboard racing. Come on, didn’t you watch the Olympics?”
Today’s theme song is “A Pizza Without Time” by Derek K. Miller.